Have you ever been frustrated by misplacing something important? Thinking you’d lost it for good?
Your check card you didn’t know was missing until getting ready to pay for the $200+ of groceries in the supermarket checkout lane with 5 impatient customers waiting in line behind you. Or your favorite pair of shoes you’ve torn your whole house apart looking for because you can’t remember the last when or where you saw them. Or that favorite tshirt you always wear when you need a little extra luck but haven’t seen since you threatened to burn it after your football team lost that last heart-wrenching game.
I am a creature of habit. Few things frustrate me to the point of insanity like having to look for something that is not in its designated spot. Neurotic or not, I’ve always believed that if you put things in the same place and return them to their place after each use, you won’t have to waste time searching for them or taxing your brain to remember the last place you put them. But even the best systems fail sometimes; and I live alone, so I can’t even blame anyone else for sabotaging my system (lol).
And so, when I lost my car key SIX MONTHS ago, I was mystified by its disappearance.
I remember the last time I saw it. March 7th. I was packing for a trip and had emptied my purse onto my bed. Transferring all my necessary items into a different bag, I distinctly remember thinking there was no point in taking my car key. It’s a bulky, heavy metal fob that I just did not want to carry around with me unnecessarily. And since I would not be driving my car to the airport the next morning, there was really no need to have it with me at all.
Beyond that very specific and vivid memory, I have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION of what I did next with that key fob.
I remember continuing to pack, going to bed, getting up the next morning, having a wonderful trip over the next week, and safely returning home. Not until the day after my return did I realize, in a panic, that I could not find my key. I searched everywhere I could think. Luggage. Desk. Every junk drawer in my house. Under the bed. Under the mattress. Laundry hamper. Washer. Dryer. Every nook and cranny of my closet.
Nothing.
Over the following weeks I continued to search. Couch cushions. Outdoor furniture cushions. Refrigerator. Deep freezer. Trunk of my car. Under car mats and in the console and glove compartment. Every drawer of my chest of drawers and nightstands. Jacket pockets. Pants pockets.
Still nothing.
I gave up. Resigned myself to never find that key fob and grateful that I at least had the spare to use.
For the next few months, a friend would randomly ask about my lost key and if I had found it. “Nope,” was always my answer. Then nothing more would be said about it until it randomly made its way into our conversation again. It was gone. No use spending time worrying about it. But, occasionally, I would wonder at its mysterious disappearance.
Then, this morning as I was transferring the items from one purse into another, I noticed something in a small pocket of the inner lining of the purse I have been using for the past 2 weeks. It was an odd shape, and I didn’t remember putting anything in particular into that pocket. I ran my finger down into it to pull out whatever it was and was shocked to find my long-missing key fob. I laid it on the desk and quickly checked my wallet for the fob I’ve been using to make sure I wasn’t mistaken. For a long minute I just stared at both of them, not believing that missing fob had been here the whole time. Right under my nose. Tagging along with me everywhere I’ve been in the past two weeks, even while I believed it was lost forever.
Which got me thinking… Isn’t it just like that sometimes? Life, I mean. All the things we cannot see, that we assume are lost or non-existent because we can’t see them, that are right here with us all along.
Like the love of someone who has passed on? Or the loyalty of a friend? Or a faith that sustains us through the toughest times? Or the support of a community that is interwoven through every thread of our lives?
My life is filled with the goodness of all these things; and yet, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I despair and stumble and flounder. Sometimes I fall face down and think I don’t have the will or energy or desire to get back up again. And then somewhere, in the most random moment and unexpected place, I find a treasure hidden in a pocket. And I am reminded that what I thought was lost has been with me all along.